This is a picture Chris snapped at the Stanford Powwow last week.
For twenty-two years I thought I was 1/16 Native American. That delusional, pale-faced fantasy ended in 2009, when your Uncle Spencer asked what tribe our great grandma was in. A brief fact-check into Horman family history revealed that Adeline Coolbear’s British accent was so indecipherable that Salt Lake City Mormons thought she was speaking the native Ute language. This is hilarious to everyone except me, and the pain of this discovery is something I will spare you by telling you that you are not 1/32 Native American. Assuming the SPF 95 you’re wearing to your piano lesson didn’t tip you off, you are one hundred percent white.
mom and dad