Chris walks me to work. Today I took him upstairs so he could see my office and experience the elevators.I work on the 7th floor of my building, and for the first time in my life I’m spending regular time in elevators. A few observations:
- The elevator feels the smallest when I share it with only one other person and that person is openly carrying a gun and a taser.
- Most mornings, the elevator smells like someone just peeled an orange. It’s something like the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. This person maintains absolute anonymity, but brings a citrus scent wherever they go. To date, there have been no Orange Eater sightings.
- Related: if you haven’t showered for several days, your presence lingers in my elevator long after you’ve left.
- I know exactly when to jump. I am awesome at that now.
"legal research" (this is what the Deputy DAs call me)