Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Lucky


I got my permit to drive when I was fourteen and a half, and I was pulled over for the first time when I was fourteen and a half and a week – sans proof of insurance, sans permit, sans parent, and after dark. That was the first of numerous traffic violations that did not end in a ticket. It would be inaccurate to say that I’ve been pulled over for “everything” but “nearly everything” is pretty accurate. Speeding, a rolling stop at a stop sign, running a red light, driving into oncoming traffic, not wearing a seatbelt, failure to signal, an utter inability to fix my headlight, talking on my cell phone, and my personal favorite: drunk driving (from a girl who has never had even the smallest sip of the booze). I can distinctly remember being pulled over thirty-four times, and that number doesn’t include the times I’ve forgotten.

I am always sorry to disappoint the people who ask what my technique is, but I didn’t have a system. I only cried once (that first time because I was so scared). Sometimes I was chatty, other times I was totally silent. Sometimes I was honest, and sometimes if you have an Idaho drivers’ license in a New York rental car, it’s a pretty reasonable to assume that you didn’t know you’re not allowed talk on your cell phone when you drive. *ahem* Twice. *ahem* In one week.

The truth is, I was just unbelievably lucky. Of course, certain friends considered it unbelievably annoying, but it felt like luck to me. Whatever it was, all that came to a screeching halt when I was driving to San Francisco in 2010. The speed limit dropped, but my speed didn’t, and the dude clocked me going around forty over. It should have been like a $600 fine, instead it was something like $150, and I kept driving to the Golden State.

A year later, on the night I met Chris, I broke the news to my friend Jen that my run from the law had finally ended. A month after that, when Chris and I saw each other next, he walked up to me and said, “You’re Brittney Horman. You’re the girl who never gets tickets.” That line, that story, that pesky speeding infraction is part of what brought us together. So yes, some might consider that first ticket to be the end of an incredible and gratuitously long lucky streak, but I consider the time I got pulled over in Jackpot, Nevada to be the luckiest I ever got.

britt

p.s. Happy anniversary, mi dilla.

10 comments:

  1. Best story ever. I love it.

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    1. Ha - thanks Rach :) it's the first time I've told it like this, so I'm glad you like it better than the "We met in a bar" version.

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    2. I actually don't know if I've ever heard any version of how you met aside from this one! I want to hear to bar version too! You're a great storyteller.

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    1. :) Thanks. IDK if you get nervous telling stories that are precious to you... but thanks for being validating. Here and on insta too.

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  3. Dude, write a book. I want to read it.

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    1. omg stop. you are too nice. AND WE HAVE TO HANG OUT SOON.

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  4. I am tearing up. I agree with Aly. You should write a book. I love reading you.

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