Tuesday, December 8, 2015

careful what you wish for

There are no pictures of me right now. ("right now" = the last four months, and "no pictures" = pictures where I'm wearing something other than a bathrobe). So here is a picture from our Christmas card photos. Related: send me your address if you want a card from the Perrys. 

I’ve talked before about my (previous, since-abandoned) fear/disgust of pregnancy, but I left out some stuff because I come across as a horrible person. For example, in college I said that when I got pregnant I wanted to be locked up in the attic and not come down for nine months. I said it would be like “The Yellow Wallpaper” but instead of covering up post-partum depression it would be to hide my freaky-looking body.

There’s a part of me that believes that I cursed myself a little bit. Which, if you read that charming anecdote, I clearly deserved. In my first pregnancy, it was seven months before I could really go anywhere but the doctor’s, and every day I could hear 22-year-old Brittney saying, “Lock me in an attic.” Well, I wasn’t in the attic, but I still got what I essentially asked for. For months I cried next to a bucket, and I wondered if I might have been spared the pukes if I had just been a little bit less terrible when I was younger.

We’re almost four months into this second pregnancy, and I have no ambition to do anything, but I do I have a renewed desire to apologize to the universe or God or karma, and anyone who ever heard me say that stuff. I’m sorry I didn’t respect the miracle of life. I’m sorry I made insensitive jokes. I’m sorry for being such a turd. And even though I HATE the pukes, thank you for limiting my punishment. You could have made it much worse.

b perry


  1. I didn't know you were pregnant again! Congrats :)

  2. Congrats on your second pregnancy! So exciting! Hopefully you start feeling better soon!

  3. I hope you get some respite soon! Congratulations!

  4. !!!! Brit!!!
    This is great news!
    Except for the puking part, which is you know, sometimes inevitable but always sucky. Sorry you get the pukes.
    You're my favourite.

  5. Congrats! That's so exciting and I am glad this time around you know what to expect. :) Even though it's never what you expect, but at least you know you love the outcome. I hope you feel better earlier! Love you!


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